Category Archives: Music

Songs on Repeat: The Wanderer

There are few things in life (aside from my children and husband) that make me happier than making mixed cds, wandering the streets of Toronto or cooking brunch for friends.  I seem to easily forget that this holy trinity is the simplest way to get me out of any sort of funk, and remind me that there is so much in life to love–no matter how much this child screams in my face.

I was reminded of these things a few weekends ago when I managed to pull off said trifecta.  I went for long stroll, heading west along Queen, from Bathurst to Beaconsfield, while wearing, and sometimes nursing my baby.  Martin and MG were at the soccer game so I had the afternoon alone with Alice.  It had been quite a long week, with a lot of face screaming and pacing and gripe water.  Baby Alice is quite different from Marigold, who slept constantly and barely cried.  However, Alice sleeps at night, and is usually only fussy in the evenings so I will try my best not to complain.  Anyways, a long walk was much needed therapy for my tired soul.

Tiny TFC Fan

Marigold ready to support the TFC

Man with an Orange Balloon in Trinity Bellwoods

Man with an Orange Balloon in Trinity Bellwoods

Toronto Graffiti

Some graffiti I spotted while wandering

The next day, my old pal AQP came over for a delicious brunch (sadly, no pictures!) and I was reminded of the magic that is a home cooked Sunday brunch.  I used to pull off amazing brunch feats back in the day, almost every weekend, when I wasn’t too hungover or craving a traditional from Sneak’s.  Still high from the brunch success, later that night  I busted out the old laptop that hosts all of my music.  I haven’t yet transferred my iTunes library to my new machine, so I sadly spend most of my time listening to internet radio these days. Every time I get out that old machine, open up iTunes and hit play, it’s like I’ve taken drugs.  Really awesome drugs.

I was reminded while out on my Saturday stroll, that a friend’s birthday was just around the corner. This chum really appreciates my handmade efforts–I usually go above and beyond to ensure her gifts, for whatever occasion, are out of this world.  I also know that she really appreciates a good mixed cd and making a mix makes me insanely happy!  It’s the only opportunity I have to play DJ in this life-piling the songs into the playlist, to curate and organize once I’ve made my way through the entire library.  Sometimes the cd’s have a theme or constraint, making it tricky to deliver, but this time, all I needed were songs I liked.

For this project, it was tough to narrow it down to 80 minutes of music, but I managed to cram some ska, reggae, soul, grunge and 50’s/60’s oldies into the mix.  I think there’s even some 90’s alternative on there.  I typically arrange the cd like sets and I listen to the beginnings and endings of songs over and over to make sure it all jives.  And then, once I’m satisfied, I give it a full listen from beginning to end, to make sure it’s perfect.

The songs on that cd entitled “Songs I like, Cuz I Like You” include some of my all time favourites that still hold up today.  The recipient, I’m sure, won’t love it all, but I know for certain that she will love hearing the opening beats of the Wanderer, by Dion.  Everyone loves hearing it.  If you know someone who doesn’t love it, I would like to hear about it–because I find that hard to believe.

I am sure that I first heard Dion when sleeping over at my friends house as a kid.  We’ve been friends since the day I was born and we’re still friends today!  She lived with her mom and older sister, and her step dad.   I remember the sisters rolling their eyes to me when I would sleep over about how their step dad would probably come home later that night, a few sheets to the wind, and start playing his records really loud.  He had been known to do that, and while I’m sure it annoyed the fuck out of them, whenever I slept over I secretly hoped he would come home, wasted, and blast his records.  It was the mid 80’s but he was listening to that classic pop music from the 50’s and early 60’s and I thought it was awesome.  My parents were really into 8 tracks and country, and I was more into records and rock and roll.  I’m pretty sure we were awakened by him playing Dion on many occasions, though typically he was more fond of “I Wonder Why” and “Runaround Sue”.

Several years ago, I was going through a 50’s/60’s music phase right along side my burgeoning interest in Jackie Kennedy.  I listened to a lot of 1050 CHUM in those days, and my iTunes library started to fill up with the Chiffons, Ricky Nelson and Sam Cooke.  And of course Dion.  And the song the Wanderer became one of many theme songs in my life.

The Jackie K Phase

The Jackie K Phase

The song itself is about a transient guy with lots of lady friends and he travels all around never looking to settle down.  While my life at the time wasn’t quite that exciting–there was a lot of dudes around, I liked to party a lot and I did roam the streets ALL THE  TIME.  I would wake up (late) on the weekends, pack my bag with some smokes, some cash, maybe my flask, do a little paper work and head out the door for the day, sometimes not returning until late in the evening.  I wouldn’t have a destination planned, or a rendezvous arranged, I would just wander for hours.  And sometimes I would meet up with my sweet chum in the park to watch the dogs, who was also spending her Saturday, just walking around.

I had my own lyrics–replacing the girls names in the song with the dudes that we all knew.  I’d sing it in the streets, I’d dance to it at bars, and sweet djs would dedicate the song to me because they knew of my love for the song.  And it is the only way I can tolerate the saxophone.  I hate the saxophone, but the sax solo at about 1:45 gives me goosebumps every time.

These days, my solo walks along Queen are few and far between, and I’ve traded my cigarettes and flask for a baby sling, but I’m still wandering.  And I still listen to the Wanderer by Dion.  Over and over again.

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Black and White and Grey All Over

I’ve been trying to remember how old I was when I got my first keyboard for Christmas.  Between 7-9 I guess.  It was the 21 key Casio PT100.  And it was awesome.  I also got 4 how-to books that taught you how to play.  The  music in the books had the notes on the staff and there were stickers so you could mark the keys on your keyboard.  And that, my friends, is how I learned to play the piano.  I commited to memory the notes of the treble clef, and eventually the stickers all rubbed off the keys and it all stuck in my brain.  I also had this pretty great ability to figure out how to play a song just by listening, so when I had worn my way through those four beginner books, I just sortof figured out the songs I wanted to play.  I was only about 9 after all, so my selections weren’t really that complicated, but I could really nail Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and mash out all the favourite hymns I knew from church.

casio pt100

Before the PT100, there was the old decrepit organ in the basement.  You had to hit the switch a few times to get it to turn on, sometimes augmenting the switch flip with a hard shake of the whole instrument.  It took a few minutes for it warm up, and it always had a loud and distinct hum that you would have to ignore if you wanted to be in the same room for any length of time.  I mostly managed to tune it out while playing.  I loved to goof around on it, with it’s push button chords and two dusty keyboards.  I think my sisters may have had to practise on it for their piano lessons, and needless to say, they gave up, as would most respectable humans because the sound was actually atrocious.

When I was around 11, the church I attended got new hymn books, and were “selling” the old ones for a $4 donation, and unfortunately the Sunday this was all going down, I was sick with the chickenpox, so I missed out on the hymn book sale. Devastated, I was, since I wanted to at least see if I was playing the right notes to the hymns, and learn others that I just couldn’t figure out on my own.  A lady at my church, Joanne, knew that I really wanted one, so that Sunday, she dropped it by.  I get all misty-eyed  just thinking about it.  To her, it was likely a very small gesture, but it was significantly influential to me.

I played the shit out of “Great Hymns of Faith”,  making up the chords based on the way things sounded in church.  I didn’t know how to read the bass clef–my instructional books failed to cover that.  I also refused to play anything with more than 2 flats or 3 sharps, so instead I would transpose the music in my head.  How I learned about key signatures is beyond me–I just kinda knew.

I would alternate playing through that hymn book on the organ and on my little PT100, pretending to be Mrs. Speer (piano) or Mrs. Toews (organ)–the ladies who accompanied the congregation in their singing.  My dream was to one day become the church pianist.  But clearly I couldn’t do it without piano lessons or a real piano.

I’m not sure why my parents never indulged my desire for lessons–most parents force that shit on their kids, but I guess they just didn’t take it seriously.  Or maybe they just thought I didn’t need them.  So instead, later that year for Christmas, I got upgraded to the Casio MT 520.

Casio_MT-520_box

 

Casio MT520

Christmas Day–Me, My Dad and my MT 520

This model had more keys, though they were much smaller and it had a pretty sweet drum pad.  You could really rock out, I guess, but I just wanted to play church hymns like a weirdo. And hymns I played until I started busting the keys.  I first lost the F sharp just below middle C, and next to go was the B flat in the same direction.  The keys were broken, but you could still hit them so they would press the little button underneath to make the sound.  Until that button came off and the notes stopped working entirely. I think at the end I had about 7 or 8 broken keys on that thing, but I just wouldn’t give up.

Whenever I was in a place that had a piano, I would play it.  People’s houses, the school music room, church, AWANA, wherever.  And if I couldn’t play it for whatever reason, my stomach would almost hurt because I wanted to so bad.  I wished all the time that my parents would just buy me a frigging piano.  It couldn’t be that hard, right?  So many birthdays I would secretly hope for the best birthday surprise of all, where I would come home and find a piano delivery truck in our driveway.  Unfortunately, no such surprise ever materialized.

About halfway through grade 9, at 14 years old, I finally got the chance to take lessons.  They were offered at my school, and I could duck out of geography once a week for a 30 minute, $9 lesson with Mrs. Giesbrecht.  I told her of my dreams to become a church pianist, and she wanted to help me with that, but she knew I needed to learn some proper technique first–which I absolutely hated.  She pointed out to me that I didn’t play with my thumbs. She thought it was the strangest thing she’d seen, until I explained that I couldn’t really use my thumbs to play properly on the MT-520.  The keys were just too small for my hand span.  Understanding my technique was hampered by the tiny keys, she mostly overlooked my awkward fingering and encouraged me to continue.  She was a really nice lady.

The summer after grade 9, my dad died.  And when Mrs. Giesbrecht called to see if I would be continuing lessons in the fall and to inform us of a price increase, I told her I wasn’t sure that we would still be able to afford it, with my dad no longer around.  She offered to keep the lessons at the original price and I was able to continue to take lessons for the next 2 years or so.

When someone dies there’s a ton of shit that happens, unexpected costs arise and life gets a bit crazy.  Not only does it suck that you’ve just lost your loved one, but you basically get screwed in a lot of different ways when you’re trying to wade your way through the grief.  Months after my dad died, his friends held a memorial golf tournament in his honour.  The proceeds from that tournament were donated to our family.  I’m not sure why my mom agreed to use a portion to buy me a piano, but she did, and I was super jazzed.  Pretty much the only bright spot after months of shitty despair.

We scoured the newspapers, and piano stores as there wasn’t the internet in those days.  We came across an old painted upright that was for sale for $400.  It didn’t have a bench and it was painted, but the price was right, so we went to check it out.  It was a nice piano, the keys were quite yellow, but the paint job wasn’t bad and the sound was really nice.  It was the one. The thing I had wanted for my entire life. My very own piano.

my piano

Black and White and Grey All Over

The day the piano was delivered was probably one of the most exciting days of my life.  I played it from when I got home until well past my bedtime.  I remember sitting in the dark living room playing because the sun had set and I didn’t want to get up to turn the lights on.  It looked nice in our living room, and the yellow keys never bothered me.  My very thoughtful and talented friend, Amber, managed to make me a matching bench in her grade 11 shop class.  I don’t think I ever really thanked her for that–it really is a beautiful piece, and especially so, since she was only like 16.

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90’s half shirt and Impy, and my piano

Upright Piano

Me and My piano, Prom 1996

baby playing piano

My niece Chrissy being coy

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My Kindred, Marty, and Amber, maker of the bench in the middle

Not long after I got the piano, I did my Grade 8 Piano exam, and passed with flying colours.  I went on to be a church pianist and eventually a worship director.  I played at almost every service (sometimes 3 a week–it was a fundamental baptist church after all!) for probably 4 years or more.  It was a dream come true–the lessons, playing in church, and the piano.

When my mom sold the house several years later, I moved into a one bedroom apartment with no room for a piano, and such has been the case since then.  There’s never room for the piano.  My Auntie housed my piano at her place for years hoping that one day I might be able to find room for it, until she moved, and could look after it no longer.

My super friend, Rock N Roll Jen offered to take it for me and it stayed with her up until now.  I could visit it when I wanted, and it being at Jen’s made for some loud and drunken piano sessions.  The time has come that Jen can no longer keep it for me, and I can’t move it here.  I’ve come to realize that I will never, while living here in Toronto, be able to host a piano of it’s size.  We might be able to fit it into our home now, but we’d never be able to get it up the two flights of stairs.  We couldn’t even fit a regular couch in, so I doubt a hundred year old upright would fit.

So it’s time to let it go.  I’ll try to give it away–we haven’t had luck so far, but maybe soon someone will take it.  And if not, I’ve got a back up plan–my friend Mike and his company Just Junk will know what to do with it–sad as that outcome may be.

The last tune I tickled on it’s ivories was a shaky rendition of  Lovesong by the Cure.  Pretty fitting, I’d say.

I’m no longer a church pianist nor am I a worship director. I don’t even really play at all anymore. I guess it’s all behind me now but I wanted to tell you about my piano.  It’s just an instrument, I know, but it was so much more than that to me and I thought you should know.

NYE 1999

Partying with my piano, NYE 1999

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