I’m overly emotional today. Not sure why, but these days come every now and again, and I’m thinking it’s likely related to my hormones not having leveled out yet. Anyways, I’ve been writing this post in my head for nearly a week, but the words usually come to me as I nurse Lady Alice to sleep a night, just moments before I collapse into bed and go to sleep for a solid six hours. I’m typically clinging to the words as I drift off, desperately hoping to remember them in the morning when I have time to write. But mostly I forget, and mostly there is laundry and dishes and toys that need my attention. And if I’m lucky I’ll sneak in a bath or some needle work, or meal prep for later in the day. I might even brush my teeth. Or sometimes I just get sucked into three episodes of Gossip Girl on Netflix and just can’t stop myself from watching the train wreck of a teen-aged soap opera.
Some days I’m sad. Not sad like I used to be, but still sad. If I let those feelings take over it could very easily become that former sadness that left me feeling powerless for so long. So I work at finding the bright spots.
There was a day last week when I felt especially blue and I unadmittly needed to focus some energy on finding some light to shine through it all. I had planned to stick around the house for yet another day because the weather was supposed to be as shitty as it had been the rest of the week. There was, however, a small window of sunshine, and I did need a few supplies from The Workroom, so I put Alice on and took a walk down Queen. I picked up the few things I needed at the fabric store, and on my way back I stopped into the River Trading Company, which is primarily a used bookstore, but has some other junk too. I had barely been into the store previously–setting foot only in the foyer to ask a question about stock. I don’t have time much for reading these days, as I’m sure you can imagine. I noticed a sign in the window that they were planning to close their doors, so there was a sale. I won’t vault into a diatribe about local businesses closing their doors, leaving vacancies for franchises to pop up, I’ll save that for another time–just know the sentiment is there.
Anyways, I went in and took some time to look around. Like a true magpie, I found several “shiny” things to take home with me to stash away in my nest:
- The World According to Garp, John Irving (My favourite author and one of my favourite books)
- A Son of the Circus, John Irving (I’ve never read it, but I’m sure it will have bears in it and it will be awesome)
- Beautiful Losers, Leonard Cohen (Again, never read it, but it probably deserves a read)
- A stack of vintage hankerchiefs (Which I will embroider and give as gifts)
- A book of illustrations that I was going to hack up and use for some craft projects
All at 30% off! The score had successfully cheered me up a bit and my steps home were a bit lighter. I love those days when I come across really awesome finds that seem just right for me and my apartment. I stopped at Kitten & The Bear for a cup of tea and to grab another jar of the tomato and tawny port jam. The tea was the icing on the cake. I was feeling pretty good about my excursion and was excited to tell Martin all about it when I got home.
He’s become quite comfortable with the ritual of me unpacking my treasures for him. He’s always saying the right things and showing interest in the junk I typically drag through the door into our already crowded apartment.
Once unpacked, I started to flip through the book of illustrations. The book, titled “Kate Greenaway” was simply a collection of pictures and rhymes taken from Kate Greenaway’s works. I’d never heard of her before, but it turns out Greenaway was a children’s book illustrator and writer from the late 19th century. And as it happens, one of her books was called “Marigold Garden”! I was absolutely thrilled with the sweet surprise bearing my precious little one’s name. The illustrations were beautiful and the words were lovely and this fantastic little score did wonders for my sad soul!
Once you start to open yourself up to seeing the bright spots, you’ll realize all the ways the universe is smiling at you. A man gives you the last sausage at the polish deli, or you see some local dude taking his python for a walk around your neighborhood. Or there’s a randomly strewn pair of pants laying all weird on the sidewalk that makes you laugh because WHAT THE HELL?!?!
And sometimes, something happens that is just pure magic…something that changes your day, or even your life! You just have to watch for it and the universe will smile at you. It always does.