8 Things

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t been writing at all. I am a bit disappointed in myself because one of my goals for 2013 was to write more to ensure that I remember it all. I started the year off pretty good, but as life began to change, writing became less of a priority, more of a chore, and frankly, I felt like the things I have to say on the inside are not what I want other people to read. I hope that I was still focusing my energy on my output and creative pursuits rather than consumption of things. But a small part of me thinks that I’ve spent far too much time in front of the television in the last few months–television is a soul-sucking-life-eating time waster, and if I stop to think about it, I shudder at how it seems to drain the motivation right out of me. I’ll have to work on that this year.

I haven’t quite put together my intentions, goals or plans for 2014 just yet. That is disappointing in itself, but I’ve been having a rough go of it since the holidays started. I’ll spare you the details but I’m just not feeling myself. It is a real let down because I love the New Year. I love the chance to start fresh–to create a purpose for myself and my life and re-focus my energy on all the things I want to accomplish in the coming months. The truth is that I’m in this funny place–my life is about to be consumed by another human, I’ve got 5 weeks left on the job and there are no real and desirable goals that are jumping out at me aside from all the things that need to get done RIGHT NOW! I don’t even have a fucking motto or theme song for this year yet.

But I can’t let that get me down. It will come. It just didn’t come before January 1st. And I’m trying on a few candidate songs for 2014, so that’s something…

Though I’m not quite ramped up for 2014, I can still take the time to reflect on the things that have happened in the last year. It seems, based on my facebook feed, that people were happy to leave 2013 behind them. When I first started thinking about it, I realized I had a lot of great things to remember. So here they are, in no particular order, 8 things that happened in 2013 that make me happy.

Pee and a Plus Sign–We knew that we wanted to have more children, so what better time was there after we got married? I was late 4 whole days before Martin would let me take a pregnancy test. He didn’t think it was likely after only a few weeks, but I knew deep down there was a baby in my tummy. Sure enough, we put Marigold to bed, I peed on a stick, and a plus sign appeared. It’s been a bumpy ride, this pregnancy. I’ve had some minor scares, I’ve found myself much more emotional and much more exhausted. Only 7 weeks left to go until this child is scheduled to arrive. We’ll see if I can last that long.

The newest McWaters at 19 weeks

The Begonia EP–While I didn’t do anything personally to accomplish this, it gives me a great deal of pleasure that Gord finally released some of his own music. It was a long time coming and I’m proud of the time and effort he put into it. It really is a great album.

I’ve got a New Boss Now –I really liked my last boss. He was awesome and hilarious and I literally cried for days when I found out he was leaving. I was certain that there was no way that the new boss would be awesome or good or that really anything positive could come of the change. Well, I was wrong, new boss is great. Awesome and amazing even. I’m actually quite sad to be going on maternity leave!

Hoops and Skeins and Fabric, oh my!–I’m not too sure where I got the idea for needlepoint from, but I had been thinking about it for a long while (I guess as an extension of my sewing dreams). Finally one day, I went to the Workroom and dropped less than twenty bones on the supplies I needed to get started. Turns out embroidery is a really simple and inexpensive hobby. It’s similar to tracing, except you’re using thread and the results are really impressive!

The first actual thing I embroidered

Hoot!

Marigold admiring the scene I did for her

Paying it All Off–I have had this deep dark secret for so very long that I have ignored and shoved aside as much as I possibly could, but it was still always bringing me down. When I put my list together of things I wanted to for 2013, I included details on the things I wanted to accomplish. I didn’t want to acknowledge my financial issues–so I just put a line in my list that said “get financially on track”.

I had terrible credit and huge amounts of debt for a really long time and thinking about it made me feel ill to the bone, so instead of dealing with it head on, I just pretended like it didn’t exist. Turns out that doesn’t make it go away, and it doesn’t make you feel good, because no matter how hard you try, you can’t actually forget about it.

Anyways–through a variety of methods–tax returns, savings and what not, I was able to pay off my student loan, and the majority of my debt in 2013. I am no where near as good as I want to be with handling my cash, but I’m definitely a lot better than I was in 2012. I’m paying my bills and saving–I think that’s a good place to start! And for the first time in a really long time–I’m not afraid to answer my phone when it says “unknown caller” because it’s definitely not someone that I owe money to. The tremendous relief I feel is inexplicable.

Everything I’ve Longed For–I have loved Hayden and his music since the 90’s. I would have to say that “Everything I Long For” is probably the most played album I have ever owned. Actually–come to think of it, I don’t even think I own it–I borrowed it from my pal in 1997 and just never bothered to return it because I loved it so much.

Hayden, live!

I have cried more tears over the lyrics and songs on that album than I could ever dream of counting. They were a solace I could always count on for any break up. My good friend, Ryan T., also loves Hayden as much as I do. It is a special bond that we have shared for over a decade. At the end of November, I finally got to see Hayden in concert–with Ryan T. sitting a few rows behind me. It was pretty rad–the show was great, Hayden was hilarious and awesome–it was everything I ever could’ve wanted in seeing him live for the first time.

Nothing Better–Seeing Hayden live was a lot more likely than ever getting the chance to see the Postal Service. They did one album 10 years ago, and I think they only ever did one tour. I had often dreamed about getting the chance to see them live so when they announced a 10th anniversary tour, I would’ve paid just about anything to see them.

I went alone to the show at the ACC–it was a night just for me. I ate dinner at my favourite Mexican restaurant, did some shots of tequila and went to the show. As an added bonus, Mates of State were opening–they are always good live and also another one of my favourite bands.

Nothing better….

Seeing the Postal Service was surreal. The music was fantastic, the lights were amazing and they loved every minute of being on stage. My heart was practically beating out of my chest and I felt like I had been tele-ported to 2004. The show was outstanding.

From this Day On–I always wanted a husband, pretty much for as long as I can remember. It was getting a bit dicey 5 or 6 years ago–I was beginning to think it was never going to happen. I was happy with my life, and was ok with the idea that maybe I wouldn’t get to have a husband one day. I always thought that I would make a pretty good wife. Turns out I make a great wife–just ask Martin. And really, being a wife and having a husband isn’t really what makes me happy–it’s the person that my husband is. His personality, his beliefs and convictions, his compassion and interests, his strength and honour–all of those things make him an amazing person. I’m thankful on a daily basis that he chose me to become his Mrs. McWaters. I laugh to myself from time to time about how unsure I was in the beginning when we started dating. And now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I really do love him more and more each day and really look for forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

2013 was great in a lot of ways. Of course there were some bad times–but what good is it to focus on that? It’s the bright spots that will keep you going…pining over the dark days will only bring you down! 2014 is going to be a busy one for us, and it’s a little scary to think about what we’re up against, but after writing this, I’m finally getting excited about setting some goals and planning for what I want to accomplish in 14.

WOOOOO!

From This Day On….

I wish I’d taken more time to painstakenly savour each moment. Instead it felt as though the entire night was racing past us. All day and night I couldn’t wait to get to the party. The biggest party we’ve ever thrown with cheese, and booze, and music, and donuts and special lights and everyone we know and love. At the very core of my being is a hostess, and it brings me so much joy. It makes me so happy to have people in my home. This hostessness allows me to share and aid in the merry-making of my dearest friends and it is a pleasure unmatched for me on this earth. At the most base level, I really fucking love to party. And you know who else loves to party? My husband.

I’ve always thought having a surprise house party wedding would be really cool, but pulling off a surprise wedding is a lot harder than it sounds. We decided in February that we were to be married in May. May 11th to be exact. Less than 3 months is surprise enough, no?

Years ago, before I’d even met Martin, I was driving along in the good old battle Saturn with my cronies, Gord and AJ, talking about boys, of course (I really was quite boy crazy, remember?). I turned to them and said, I’m going to get married on May 11, 2013. I passed AJ my Samsung flip phone and had her look up the date. Sure enough it was a Saturday. I didn’t have a boyfriend, or really have my sights set on a particular fella, but I knew my wedding date. And somehow, I managed to meet, fall in love and marry my dearest, all in the nick of time. I’d like to say it was clarvoyance, but it’s probably better categorized as a self fulfilling prophecy.

Bottom line? The date was special.

I had spent weeks and months preparing for the celebration, only for the night itself to quickly fade away as I tossed my bouquet to a small clan of ladies on my porch. I stole off into the night with my lover, my husband. I spent every spare second I had in the weeks leading up to the wedding cutting and pasting and planning and scheming and downloading and curating and thinking it all through over and over and over again. And in all that time I never anticipated that the party would go by so quickly. I got to spend 5 short hours buzzing from room to room basking in the glow of the best people on the planet, save a few, doing what we all love best: Partying. And I wish I could do it all over again. Despite how fast the night passed me by, I enjoyed every minute–I had a really really great time.

Me and my new husband, flashing his gold ring.

For me, it all came down to crafts, a 4+ disc mixed CD set, an 8 1/2 pound cheese order, and 5 dozen donuts. Not necessarily traditional, but a Peattie-McWaters wedding it was.

8 1/2 pounds of pure dairy gold

Pennant made from antique sheet music

A small fraction of the 60 glory hole donuts

Hand crafted Sacs Aux Surprise!

Smoky smoky

Porch Party

All of those really awesome things aside, there was love. So much love, our apartment was bursting at the seams. My love for Martin, his love for me, and our love for little Marigold was multiplied exponentially by the love of those surrounding us that night. I felt like was floating. On a sweet cloud of love all night logn. And I’m totally serious.

I was welcomed as a McWaters with a resounding “Yay” and narry a “Nay”, and the feelings are more than reciprocal.

So we danced and we drank, and we smoked, and I untraditionally swore through my speech. We floated through our home around the people that have come to mean so much to us. An outstanding amount of love surrounds our lives and it will shine through us, from this day on.

Special thanks to all our friends that took photos!!!

Becoming Mrs. LadyBird Magpie of Parkdale

I definitely don’t want to forget any of this. Just a bride and a groom and some rings and everyone we know and love.

Where do I even start? A DIY wedding is a blogger’s fantasy, and I did almost all of it myself, so I should have lots and lots to share. Through the exhaustion of the last two weeks, I’ve been trying to find the clarity and the words, trying to find anything to write about, and I’m still unsure about what to say…

I thought I would be much more emotional throughout the ceremony. Like falling over sobbing, with a mascara raccoon nightmare face, but it wasn’t really that bad. I thought I would get to the part where Gord handed me over to Martin and I would completely lose my shit. But I didn’t–I had welled to tears enough many times in the weeks prior to the wedding about Gord giving me away. I cry because I’m happy. How could I not be? Everything makes sense, right? Marrying Martin for starters, and Gord giving me away, and everything leading up to that point. My life has made 100% sense, and I’m full of so much joy.

On May 11, 2013, I had a bath with a Lush bath bomb, I made our bouquets, I traipsed down the stairs of my Parkdale house of dreams without calling a cab because at this point, I don’t even know HOW to call a cab. But hailing a cab is pretty tough carrying a suitcase, two bouquets, a crinoline and smoking a stranger’s cigarette. The neighbour of all neighbours escorted me to the street corner and hailed me a cab. Put my bags in the trunk and sent me off to the Gladstone. It really was very very sweet. He later hauled like 250 lbs of ice up the stairs, and had the time of his life blasting records. What an awesome dude.

The maid’s homemade bouquet

The Brides homeemade bouquet

My room was at the Gladdy was red, and there was just enough time to doll myself up to the fashion by which I chose to get married. My red room, my red dress, and a perfect Parkdale view of the Gladstone Cafe (ha!) and the rug factory in the distance. I hung my dress in the window for all of Parkdale to see. I prepped and primped and listened to old reggae and my escorts arrived on cue, and I got to show off my crinoline for the very first time. And no, that’s not a euphemism.

Red Curtains in the Gladstone Room #303

Outside the Gladstone

We drank champagne and put feathers in our hair and descended down a beautiful three flights of stairs to the Gladstone lobby. I guess whenever I imagined my wedding the two things that were always consistent–I was always coming downstairs and there was always music. As a child, I used to stand at the top of our stairs and have my mother call “Andrea Peattie, come on down”, as though I was headed to contestants row on the Price is Right. No contestants row on May 11, though, just a groom and some rings and everyone we know and love. and the last time I’ll ever descend anything as an unmarried lady. Just Andrea Peattie, for the very last time.

$12.99, just slightly more than my pack of cigarettes

Back of a taxi, heading away from the sunset

My Handsome Groom awaits

I never want to forget, sitting in the judge’s office, singing with my dudes, and my best gal. It was one of the most special moments of my life. The sweet harmonies, Vigoda’s soft strums and some super slow tempoed soul. This all sung volumes to me about the man I was going to marry. They love me, and they love Martin. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

They led me, and serenaded us into our marriage. And while I really wish my dad and Luigi could’ve been there, it didn’t really matter, because I knew they would be so happy, and they would love Martin too. Samson-esque locks and all!.

The words of the ceremony didn’t even occur to me at the time—and I really don’t even know what the JP said. He asked about vows and readings just prior to the ceremony and I told him to say whatever he wanted, just don’t say anything about God. What I do know is that I meant what I said to Martin and I know Martin meant what he said to me and we’re never going to stop meaning it.

……..I will. So will he. The end and also the beginning. Presenting Mr. and Mrs. McWaters.

There are about 1000 things that I wanted to say to Martin the night we got married, and by the time that I got to him, I didn’t have to say anything. Everything just makes sense for us. And we are head over heels in love to boot.

When I first started dating Martin, he had stayed over on a Saturday night, and we went for brunch at Mezzrows, then walked along King back to my former PD house of dreams. We lollygagged up the stairs, sat down on the futon and played Tony Hawk on the PS2. We were having some snacks (naturally) and I turned and looked at him and said…”Does this feel normal to you?” He said “yep” and we went back to playing our video game.

Here we are now, tonight, on the couch, and he’s playing a video game while I write. The snacks will be out soon, I’m sure. Guess what? This is absolutely-one-hundred-fucking–percent-no-doubt-in-my-mind “normal”. And so my first reflection (yes there are more to come), upon being wed, is this: I got married and I don’t feel any different. Not even in the slightest. And as you can see on my face, I am thrilled.